Another. Awesome. BARGE! 2006.
If you need background read my BARGE 2004 and BARGE 2005 reports.
Wednesday, August 16th.
Wednesday
Ben Gamble lives a few blocks from his CHORSE teammate, my old friend
and bridge partner and 2006 Virgin Bob Thomson and we all happened
to be on the same flight, so his girlfriend was nice enough to drive all
of us to the airport. I'm United 1K so we went through the practically
non-existant line after checking our one suitcase (we normally carry on
but it had five bottles of fine sake that Ben picked up at
True Sake the day before. We stopped
by the Red Carpet Club to kill the extra 45 minutes and for some pre-BARGE
drinks. Of course, we lingered a little too long, so they were calling
the final-final boarding call for our flight as we were coming up to the
plane.
We landed uneventfully, got the luggage and took the shuttle to Dollar.
Good beat/bad beat: they had been cleaned out of cars by a big tour bus
that afternoon (that's what they said), but after a five-ten minute wait
we got a mini-van instead of a regular car, which was good given that we'd
be driving to a few events at BARGE.
So, by six Wednesday night we were checking into the Venetian, ready for
the BARGE party to begin.
We had eight o'clock reservations at the Okada in the Wynn with Barry Goren
(another old friend, way-back bridge partner and 2006 BARGE Virgin). We
got there early and sat at the bar sampling sochu cocktails and studying
the sake list (Ben was anyway, I was just people watching). We were seating
in the nice area with a view of the outside waterfall. We were the only
table occupied in that whole section a few minutes after eight but strangely
within 45 minutes every single table was full! Okada has an extensive
sake menu and a lot of great Japanese food. We ordered from the small
plate menu and from the robatayaki menu. We figured we could have sushi
the next day! The service was great all the way till right before dessert.
Barry's friend Lindsey (who happens to work at Wynn food and beverages
department) joined us when she got off work and totally coincidentally the
service dropped to atrocious. [They didn't know who she was, if they had
there is no way this would have happened!] But the food was excellent as
was the sake. In fact after the second fine sake was order the sake
sommelier stopped by our table as she figured out we had a connoisseur with
us. [mental note to self, spell check the report. Damn French words]
We got back to the Venetian and got into some games, Ben limit, me $1-$2 no
limit. Have you heard how bad these people were? First of all, with $1-$2
blinds opening raises were usually in the $15-$20 range. Otherwise all
would limp. First pot I was in was the first hand. I posted and six
other people limped. $12 pot, right? Some random flop comes and middle
position bets out $40. Huh? Later I hear an explanation of these consistent
overbets on the flop into tiny pots: "I didn't want anyone chasing me."
And this would be with hands like top pair no kicker, or middle pair. I
don't think it occurred them that they might get called or raised when they
are beat, all they worried about was draws catching up to them.
I know what you're thinking -- these people were really bad, so I must have
lost a few racks right? No way, Jose! (Not till later in the week anyway!)
I did have some frustrating hands like A9 raising, calling my large re-raise
and then getting all his chips in on a AT4 flop (all one suit, not his)
and chopping the pot with my AK when running fours came. On the other hand
I doubled up when I raised before the flop and got checked raised all in
on the flop of AA3 and the check-raiser asked me "What's your kicker"?
I had AQ so I knew if he had to ask, I way had him.
One young guy noticed that Gavin Smith was slumming his way at the next
$1-$2 game. He was shocked and wanted to know what Gavin was doing there.
I explained that we were all there for BARGE. He assumed that it meant
that Gavin was here to give lessons and me and the rest of us were here
to learn from him or something. I told him my usual BARGE line that no,
it's just a drinking convention where we spend some of the time playing
poker, Gavin same as everyone else (even if he drinks better faster than
the rest of us!) The kid was very impressed and wanted to know what
other famous people would be there. I told him Bill Chen. I don't know
if he really was impressed or only faked it. I asked him if he'd read
any poker books, thinking I could impress him by pointing out Lee Jones
at the next table. Turns out the only poker book he'd read was by this
guy named Phil Gordon. I'm not sure he believed me when I told him Phil
was also going to be here for BARGE.
Around 2:30am I realized that we didn't register for our frequent player
points club or whatever the heck that is. I'd read on
Cheapo Vegas site that the Venetian
gives better than average comps to poker players, and their food is pretty
expensive, so I got cards for me and Ben. Of course then we didn't scan
out correctly so I asked one of the floormen (Ari) and he said not to
worry about the card, if I needed anything just to ask him and he'd write
me up a food comp. And true enough, several times through the weekend
whenever I asked they gave me generous food comps (about $200 total).
We finally got to bed in time to get a few hours of sleep before CHORSE.
Thursday, August 17th.
My team was The Moosecocks. North Shore Mike, our usual fearless leader
was a pussy this year (all year!) and did not come to BARGE! We called
and text messaged him throughout the weekend calling a Pussy, just so
that he would know he was missed! Anyway, Murray was still awake from
the day before and still drunk from the day before. Shocked you all are,
I know. The problem is that Murray failed to assign games properly.
First I had to kick Ron Nutt from my Crazy Pineapple table, then he somehow
ended up playing Razz (Sorry, Ron, I love you, but Razz is not your game,
at least not as long as you call with T73). But really that was the least
of our problems as it turned out. Murray was distraught that he forgot
the Moosehats, but that was okay too, QB and I brought ours which we
rotated. The problem was that after playing the first round of Hold'Em
Murray decided to pass out. To be fair about it, he asked me first if
it would be okay. I decided that it was better to have Murray pass out
in his room than in the poker room, clarified the substitution rule and
told him he could go. I recruited Kenny Shei who shockingly wasn't on any
team (whereas by recruited I mean I forcefully pulled him out of the Chinese
game he was in, but to be fair, he owed me as I gave him my Plaza room
reservation).
As it turned out we wouldn't need Kenny for the third and last round as we
had no chips left. We apparently bled out chips in all games and only had
a couple of instances where someone ended up with (a little) more chips
than they started with. Ah well. I was tilted because Jerrod sucked out
on me again. Last year (again at Crazy Pineapple) I sold a bunch of chips
to him when I had A4 and he had 74 on a 744 flop. This year I had a
straight and a best low when he turned (or was it rivered) a steel wheel
on me, counterfeiting my low and beating my high. Jerrod you suck!!! I
will get you back at Roshambo! Oh wait, I already did! More about that.
Anyway, after CHORSE I grabbed six people who were going with me and
headed off to "I Love Sushi" for our linner (lunch/dinner). We had about
fifty people RSVP in advance and I had about half a dozen people ask if they
can join, but since I had another half a dozen who said they couldn't make
it, I figured it would be okay. They had faxed me a menu (in my room at
the Venetian, who'd have thunk that having a fax machine in your room is
actually handy?) and I had pre-ordered a bunch of Japanese burritos,
Screaming orgasms (half seared, half raw) and a few other rolls. They were
told to expect fifty and we had very close to that.
About a dozen people had gone in on the premium sake tasting. It worked
out really well, they provided us with sake glasses and Ben served and
provided commentary. Everyone else enjoyed rolls like "Tastes like your
ex-girlfriend", "I Love My Ass" and "Who's Your Pimp?" There was also some
excellent nigiri and sashimi, but really the place is awesome for their
rolls. You can get regular sushi anywhere, but you can't get "Something's
Wrong #7" anywhere else!
I should have set over/under myself (I would have set it at $40 which is what
we paid last year) but Patti set it at $46, and about 60% took the under
anyway, even though we ordered way too much food! The bill ended up being
just over $1800 and that was WITH a 20% tip! We collected $40 per person
and we gave the sushi chefs a standing ovation. They were really touched,
and the head waitress actually hugged me. We had a little mishap when I
misplaced some money that a couple of people who left early gave me, and
so we had pitched in extra, but when later I found the missing funds, I
had to find all those people and give their money back (and I also sent
extra $ back there with Jeff who's a regular there. Bet they never had
anyone send extra tip a few days later!) Anyway, they loved us, we loved
the sushi, and I think we're going to do it again next year. We'll do the
sake tasting again most likely, that seemed to have gone over well.
We got back around six with plenty of time before the Stud shootout which
we weren't playing in because we went to see La Reve at the Wynn with
ABD Chaz and his SO Debbie. I've loved the early Cirque du Soleil shows,
but have been a little disappointed by the last few. La Reve was directed
by Dragone who did the early Cirque shows. It was AMAZING! It was awesome.
I was totally blown away. Now I might have to see that stupid Celine Dion
show because he directed it. Charles has always raved about Daniel Boulud
where they had an early dinner, so after the show when the bar
was too crowded we went into the DB bar and ended up having some snacks
there -- quite good. We got back to Venetian in time to play a full night
of poker. The hand that really did me in was a four way all-in before the
flop with JJ, AK, KJo and 74o. It was, of course, a four-way chop with
an eight high straight on the board -- this site is SO RIGGED! I had the
AK, by the way. I may have gained a chip on this hand. When I was done
I sat down in the 3-6 game to play Ben's chips because I noticed he went
to the bathroom or something. No one seemed to care that I just sat down
and started playing. I won a huge pot on the second hand, so he didn't
seem to care either.
Friday, August 18th.
Friday we got to sleep in because I didn't stupidly sign up for the TOC,
like I had the year before. After very late brunch with Lennie and Bruce
I spent the afternoon playing Chinese poker (one of these days I've got to
learn how to play that! My strategy of getting the sort of hands one
sets the middle as a boat is likely to run out time soon!)
In the evening Charles, Debbie, Ben and I had dinner reservations at
Aureole in Mandalay Bay which had been on top of my list to try for a while.
It was quite excellent. We had the tasting menu and the boys picked out
a few bottles of wine from their huge five story tall tower which they
seemed to like. It was one fine meal. We then drove downtown for the
big event of BARGE 2006 -- karaoke! I mean, Chris and Amy's wedding.
We got there in time to hear some great and some very scary singing :)
The ceremony was very touching. We then celebrated by singing classics!
From "Lion Sleeps Tonight" to "Baby Got Back" we spanned the decades!
As awesome as it all was, nothing had me in stitches as hard as being up on
the stage singing the South Park/Eric Cartman version of Styx classic
"Come Sail Away" with Ben and James Kittock. Screw you gahs! That was
Awesome! Unfortunately the KJ didn't have the bride's request for me
"Jungle Love" so I did "Hanky Panky" instead. We all did, what I'm sure
was an awesome version of "Bohemian Rhapsody" and Ben and I decide to
spare y'all any Meatloaf this year. Wait till next year though!
By the way, Stevan Goldman, you are a pussy! We were supposed to go to a strip
club after Karaoke since it didn't happen Thursday night. And where was
the organizer, Goldiefish after karaoke? No where to be found!!!
Oh well, maybe next year.
Saturday, August 19th.
Saturday was tough. My opinion of 10am is about the same as my opinion of
going to the dentist. I do it, but I really don't enjoy it on any level.
My starting table looked okay, most people I knew, no one too dangerous...
an empty seat to my right till I see a totally stunned Ben sit down in it.
Now you have to understand, we are always jockeying to be on each others
right in home games and he felt totally tilted to find himself directly
on my right in a twenty table BARGE tourneys! Thanks Peter and Chuck!
One totally shocking moment for me was when at some point a new player was
moved into seat 10 and he was wearing a t-shirt from a startup I worked
at with Bruce Hayek back in 2000-2002 which went out of business in 2003
because they had no customers and this guy was wearing our customer t-shirt,
maybe one of ten people in the world to have it!
It didn't help me much, we weren't in many hands together. I was down a
few chips when I got moved to another table. I was in the big blinds with
A5s when Michelle raised from middle position. I defended and on a flop of
all small cards with a 5 decided to move in. She had JJ and so she called
and no help came so IGHN.
I actually went to play more Chinese Poker. I was probably there for hours
when Phil Gordon sat down to chat. Phil is another old friend and bridge
partner from way back (are you sensing a pattern? I think a lot of bridge
players are moving to poker, because bridge is dying and poker is not. Or
maybe it's the money. Or the fact that you don't need a partner. Or
something else). Anyway, Phil and I met back in the 80's (and played
bridge when the average age of a bridge player was almost twice our
combined age). We caught up on life, and he gave me some pointers in
between which enabled me to get even for the day, yay! Strange to have
thirteen cards in my hands and not count the high card points...
Banquet was good. The food was just okay -- edible, which is sometimes
all you can ask at these banquet type functions even at a place like the
Venetian. Phil's talk was hilarious. I had warned him that he had a
tough act to follow as everyone really enjoyed Wil's talk last year. Well,
Phil rose to the occasion (ha-ha, get it? ha-ha) and did a great talk on
the subject "How to become (and stay) overrated". The crowd was really
into it and seemed to catch on quick as I saw people using the suggested
techniques starting with the Q&A period.
After the Banquet we had our annual Roshambo championship. We were told
there was no gambling allowed (I guess if the casino isn't taking a cut,
then it's not kosher) so we announced it would be played for fun and if you
had 100 fun then you can enter and win a lot more fun back.
We actually had sixteen entrants, with defending champions from last year
(me), the year before (Lennie) and 2001 (Perry) all in attendance. I drew
random brackets and found myself opposing Bill Chen and his two bracelets.
Bill got off to a great start getting ahead 7-1 with his "randomize"
strategy. Pussy! After eight throws I finally had a good read on him and
came back to win 10-9. My second draw was Jerrod. No problem! I figured
him for the same lame strategy that Bill used, and after letting him get
ahead 3-0 I took the next eight throws in a row and won easily after that.
We were down to the semi-finals! I drew Perry and Barry and Ben were in the
other bracket. Ben and Barry finished it off quickly, but me, Perry and
Perry's mouth were at it for a while. I made a tactical error. I left
my earplugs in the room and I had brought them precisely in case I drew
Perry in this event! Oh well, live and learn. With my concentration shot
I lost 10-5. We were set for a long final with Barry and Perry. Phil
and Bruce was on the mic for live commentary. I'm not sure if it was
available through Pay-Per-View, but it definitely should have been!
Barry won! We have a new champion! Wait till next year, though. I'll
be back!
After that there were hours of ruling Chowaha. It only cost me about three
racks between toking and endless variations that Perry had come up with.
I'm not sure if Ultimate Chowaha (six flops, four turns, shared river),
Chowaha-diagonal or something else was my favorite, but I know we had the
most fun when playing Half-Indian-Chowaha. Certainly it got more fun when
two people who tried to play "seriously" left (how the hell do you play
Chowaha seriously???). The key ruling moment came when a BARGER I hadn't
met named "Lunchbox" got several new racks and Perry dared him to toke the
dealer a rack. Steve (I think that was his name) dropped a full stack in
the bucket and Perry said "I said rack!" and so Steve dropped the rest
of the rack into the toke bucket. I swear the dealer had a drop of tears
in his eyes. My hat's off to you, Lunchbox, may you have all the luck you
deserve after doing such a cool and generous thing (and THAT showed Perry!)
Eventually, all the chips were gone (from in front of me anyway) and I had
to leave. Also my body was screaming for sleep. Luckily, the nice guy
in a suit at the poker desk was kind enough to get us late checkout as
well as a generous comp for brunch the next day.
Sunday, August 20th.
We had 1pm checkout Sunday and finally managed to drag our asses to the
checkout desk at 1:30. She had to call the poker room to get us our
poker rate because I forgot to deal with it earlier. No problem. Well,
I had zero voice so it was a little problem to communicate it to her,
but we got there.
We then had a nice brunch at Cafe De Lux with Barry, Perry, Lennie and
Bruce, except for the obnoxiously long wait for our table after they
told us they were waiting for a table to open up for us but they took
other parties of the same size who came later than we had. Grrr. They
were lucky I had no voice at all or I would have told them how I felt
about that.
We got to the airport early as they had free wireless through out the terminals
and Ben had some important business to attend to (Kingdom of Loathing, if
you want to look it up). We failed to get bumped from our totally full
oversold flight, so no free tickets to FARGO/ATLARGE, but got home fairly
uneventfully.
BARGE is over and I have to wait a WHOLE YEAR for another chance to see
my friends, put locals and tourists on tilt, play some silly poker and some
serious poker, eat some great food, see some great shows, and have more
fun than anyone should ever be allowed.
Props to Perry for coming up with the acronym CHARGE... Can't Have ARGE...
Thanks, Peter, Chuck, for turning CHARGE into best evah BARGE.
And thanks to all my friends old and new for another great BARGE!