With her swaying hips she turned my head, and this silly war got started,
'Cause after she had seen Paris, well, how could she stay in Sparta?

The girl is mine,
The Tyndarid is mine.
I know she's mine,
Hear that, the doggone girl is mine.

I don't understand what Cassie says or the seers with their signs.
Sending Ajax and a thousand ships is just a waste of time,

Because she's mine,
The Tyndarid is mine.
Don't waste your time,
Because the doggone girl is mine.

Poets they will sing
. . . Of our love affair . . .
So as I march to war
. . . Let me fix my hair . . .

Oh no, come instead to our room . . .
And I'll let brother Hector
Fight her ex to protect her.
So what if Cass starts to lecture
About equine architecture?

Well don't build your hopes on Thetis' son, 'cause he sure can hold a grudge.
But even if he should come back, I know brother will not budge . .

Because she's mine,
The Tyndarid is mine.
Don't waste your time,
Because the doggone girl is mine.

'Paris, we're gonna fight about this, okay?'
'Menelaus, I think I told you that I'm a lover, not a fighter.'
' ugh! I've heard it all before, Paris, Calchas told me that I'm her forever lover, you know, don't you remember?'
'Well, after I gave her the apple, Venus said I'd never have to find another.'
'That what she said?'
'She said it.'
'I don't believe it!'
'You keep Schlieman!'

Brian L Chaffin (chaff002@maroon.tc.umn.edu)