The nominees for Worst Al Song are, in alphabetical order:
Hipposong (FLW) -- Al's clever novelty song about insensitivity to other people's personal problems wasn't much of a hit with the ASML. Guess Al won't be putting out any future tuba-and-tambourine songs after he sees the results.
Lover Man (BI) -- Written by one Mike Heron, this is one 'rare' Al track that a few ASML'ers wish would make itself more scarce. Al's talents, apparently, do not extend to sounding like an angry streetwise man accusing his wife/girlfriend/lover of an affair, though we suspect that Bruce Springsteen would sound equally silly singing Nostradamus.
Midnight Rocks (24C) -- One of Al's few Top 40 hits fared a lot better with the general public than with his legions of loyal fans. Some find it a pleasant but forgettable little ditty, but others are less forgiving. You say with best intentions/Let's throw away all mentions/Of Midnight Rocks, oh yeah....
Pandora (IS) -- Another pleasant but forgettable pop song, this one (we think) was released as a single but didn't make a splash in the charts. For the longest time, this song had NO positive votes. A late honorable mention saved it from true ignominity.
Princess Olivia (IS) -- Clearly, when Al says 'I love Princess Olivia', he's singing solo. A bright, uptempo rocker from Indian Summer that met with some harsh words from the electorate. Runaway winner of the Who The Hell Are You Kidding Al? award for the lines: "I never was one for talk/.../When people get to reminiscing/I'll always be the one to listen". As for us, we put it in our Top Ten. So there.
Midnight Rocks wins the overall Worst Song award, and it also nips Song On The Radio for Most Negative Points, -23 to -22. The Bottom Ten are listed below. Other songs drawing heavy negative points (Worst votes only) include Strange Girl (-17), The News From Spain (-10) and Accident On Third Street (-10).
1994 ASML "BEST OF AL" POLL -- BOTTOM TEN SONGS
--WORST-- --VOTES-- ----POINTS----
# SONG ALBUM #1 #2 #3 T20 B3 POS NEG TOT
1. Midnight Rocks 24C 3 2 1 2 6 10 -23 -13
2. Hipposong FLW 2 2 0 2 4 6 -16 -10
3. Lover Man BI 0 1 1 0 2 0 -5 -5
4. Princess Olivia IS 2 3 1 3 6 17 -21 -4
5. Pandora IS 1 0 1 1 2 3 -7 -4
6. Constantinople 24C 0 2 0 1 2 3 -6 -3
7. Song On The Radio TP 2 2 3 3 7 20 -22 -2
8. Mondo Sinistro 24C 3 0 1 5 4 15 -17 -2
9t Ivich BI 1 0 0 1 1 3 -5 -2
9t Real And Unreal LDOTC 1 0 0 1 1 3 -5 -2
(Ties in this table are broken by most negative points.)
Pollster's notes: Song On The Radio looked to have this race wrapped up on January 1st, but two late voters put it in their Top Twenties. As for the head of Al Poll Central, he unashamedly admits his ballot helped save both Hipposong and Princess Olivia from winning this dubious title. (We happen to like Constantinople and Mondo Sinistro too...and for that matter, we never thought Midnight Rocks was all that bad of a song.)
